...this...that...the other...

My life is never lacking stories of random mishaps or embarrassing moments. So today, all I needed to do drop off a package at the post office. Little did I realize what adventure was waiting for me...

I convinced two of my co-workers to go with me, although it looks like a monsoon has settled upon our office. Without an umbrella, I asked another co-worker if I could borrow hers for our outing. Without any hesitation, she handed me 'IT' to me (this should of been my first clue to kindly refuse and take my chances with looking like a drown rat).
It looked like your normal, black umbrella; however, I soon was going to discover it was possessed by the devil, himself.
My two co-workers and I headed down stairs towards my car. I offered to go pull up the car and pick them up, since we only had one umbrella. I removed 'IT' from beneath my arm and brought it to its upright position. With one gracious movement, the umbrella went from something that could bring hope to something that you hoped to get away from. With it fully extended and ready to fight the gusty winds and sheets of rain, I step out. Before my foot could complete its first step the meek umbrella turned into a wild beast with a mind of its own. It no longer held the position of covering me but rather decided to twist its body in such a manner as to try to get me as wet as possible. Realizing that I am not only fighting the storm but also THE BEAST, I began running to my car, twisting and contorting my body trying to use THE BEAST as a shield. However, it was to no avail. I reach my car and tried pull the umbrella to its closed position, only to realize that due to its wild rants and the vicious storm, it was never to close again. Sitting in my car, my body mostly hanging out the door, I tried to tame the beast by frantically pulling THE BEAST into the car. At a moment of complete defeat, I threw the umbrella away from the car and shut the door. I put the car in reverse and began to back up. However, THE BEAST would not die. It gets its claws under my car and will not let go. Realizing that I couldn't go far with it attached to my car, I stopped my car, opened the door and began prying it loose. With one gust of adrenaline, I crushed THE BEAST and threw it into the car, letting its dead carcass drape over the passenger seat. Out of breath and strength, I pulled up to the door to find to co-workers overjoyed with laughter that I had returned. Although, this was but the beginning of our outing, I found solace in the fact that one battle had been won. Perhaps next time, I should try this...